Recovery: July 12, 2015 to Present - Today I celebrate 1 YEAR
(My 1 year reveal I shared on Facebook July 12, 2016 - the authentic unedited version…)
A Journey of the mind, body and the soul....finding peace and love and self acceptance. I post this today because I am going to be completely open, authentic, not be ashamed anymore, but celebrate life and honesty.
I, Dawn Bergeron, am in recovery from addictive behaviors that I finally surrendered to July 12, 2015. I gave up drinking that day and started a path to self love. I was born into this gene and thought I could fight it and be a "normal drinker" all those years. At times I was ok, but other times I spiraled. I don't know how to shut it "off" is probably the best description I ever heard from a good friend in sobriety one time. I have the family gene and something in my brain that wants more once I taste it. It destroyed my family. My dad died March 1973 from the disease and a heart attack. My mom was alcoholic too. My baby sister in 2008. My mom is in a nursing home in Colorado, while 17 years sober, suffering from dementia and alzheimer's. I went from my mom's care at age 5 to foster care for the next 6 years, visiting her on and off hoping she would get better. Age 11, courts decided she was not going to get better. They finally allowed my sister and I to be adopted. So we went to our 3rd family. Amazing family that gave us a new chance at life, but my sister and I had so much baggage by now. My sister took life of alcohol, drugs, stripping, penthouse centerfold, sex and that plagued her until her death 2008. I struggled with eating disorders all those years and overuse of alcohol. I functioned and was successful but still struggled. I spiraled after my sister died in 2008 - slowly spiraled. When you are deep in your disease, you don't think anything is wrong with you. So, I thought I was fine. On and off anti depressants over the years. December 2014 while in Colorado, I actually overdosed Wellbutrin and spent 2 days in hospital having hallucinations. At that time, January to April 2015, I gave all that and alcohol up. thought I could drink normal again May 2015. Not the case. July 12, 2015, I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that began my journey to where I am today......
I share because if I am open and share, it might help somebody out there suffering right now and looking for inspiration to change their life. I want to inspire if I can. And I want to not bottle it up and be ashamed anymore. I have so many flaws and have sinned, but I allowed God in my life this past year and his love is so amazing.
I shake a little as I write this and share this, because I still worry what others think. But so many signs have come into my life lately that it would be ok to share all this today.
Last week my son was at a church camp, and his leader was a 46 year old mom who is in recovery, 5 years sober and shared her story! When I picked him up, my son shared this story with me and encouraged me to be a leader someday and share my story - he saw so many similarities with his leader and myself! My son told me that he knows he had challenges with my alcohol use over the years, but god put these in his life because it has molded him to who he is today. I went on to say, how I wish I had believed in god and faith at a young age, and how I might have been different in life. He said, "Mom - god meant for you to go on this path." I seriously cried. How did my son grow up so much going on a mission trip? God put my son and this leader together as I approached this milestone. God is SOOO GOOD!
In a broken world that is suffering, there is still a lot of hope and love and beautiful people out there. Regardless of color, race, gender preference, occupation, political preference - it takes us all making tiny little changes daily - 24 hours at a time. It seriously begins with us changing ourselves and our beliefs a little bit at a time. Inspiring and influencing others along the way positively.......
Today - I am so grateful for another 24 hours. Thank you GOD. Thank you to the many, many friends I have that I have confided in over the past year and the new friends I have made in recovery. There are a lot of people in this world suffering and feeling lost in life. It doesn't have to be that way........