THE UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING
You don't just reveal a major flaw in your life and walk away feeling ok......you have to process the decision hourly and daily and let those feelings settle in your heart. You know you are not supposed to worry what others think, but a small part of you does because that's what makes you human and alive. Even with all the positive messages, and the many private messages I received of others privately suffering and lives I have touched, I secretly hurt from lack of response of some friends you considered closer to you. But it's part of the process you have to remind yourself. Part of healing. Part of being truly authentic and being ok with that. It's the building character part that never stops.
THE CELEBRATION FEELING
So, Sometimes my son gets rides to soccer early from a friend. Other times I take him. When I do take him, I think how I choose my life and my time. Not only do I get a good 15 or so quality minutes in the car with him, he gets to practice driving, we get to talk a little and share thoughts. Those daily little bits of quality time need to be cherished in this busy life. Then I decide rather than go home and work on my computer there, I'll go to Starbucks, get a Venti Dark Roast with steamed heavy whipping cream, and work. Because I am an entrepreneur I can work early like this, in my comfortable capris and flip flops, no makeup, coffee music, and take a few moments to reflect. I look at the work I have been doing on my site and I like it. It looks pretty and is a reflection of the artist I am. And today I am grateful for that. I also finally decided to give this blogging thing a whirl. Just gonna try to start writing....kinda open journal I suppose....